Never mind having your house flooded. Superstorm Sandy has brought on some serious #firstworldproblems for Wall Street traders and CEOs in Connecticut, New York, and New Jersey. Sure, you may have been huddled around a flashlight or dodging a swollen Gowanus Canal, but imagine if you’d suffered these indignities:

  • Having to “go to the wine cellar and find a good bottle of wine and drink it before it goes bad.”
  • Walking three miles. (What, NO CAR SERVICE??)
  • Eating “a lunch of Raisin Bran, coffee and a banana from the 7-Eleven.” (What, NO SEAMLESS??)
  • “The dumpling bar was closed.”
  • Having to wear blue jeans.
  • Having to use a fax machine.
  • Being “stuck in Palm Beach” with your original Magritte painting.
  • Playing Monopoly with your family to pass the time, but your kids refuse to enjoy it (because you’re the type of dad who “plays to win”).

As stock trader Sean Gambino told Bloomberg, “Think Katrina, but now it’s us.” Truly, let us all have a moment of silence for those who, thanks to eco-disaster, must briefly live more like the rest of us.