And what’s the deal with airline food?!

Oop. Sorry. Hang on. Wrong script.

Gas prices, am I right? Here is a page of dumb jokes about gas prices that I found by Googling “dumb gas prices jokes.”

This weird person uses the controversial “two hands” approach to pumping.

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But, seriously. Gas prices in California have just hit an all-time high for the third day in a row, reaching $4.67 a gallon. Which is pretty crazy. It means that you can get a day pass to Universal Studios Hollywood for only … 17 gallons of gas. (Goddamn, that tour’s expensive.)

Why? The Los Angeles Times explains — and has some good news.

California drivers may soon catch a break.

The Exxon Mobil refinery in Torrance, which shut down Oct. 1 in a power outage, resumed operations Friday. Analysts blamed the closure, as well as reduced production this summer at a major Northern California refinery, for much of the state’s price hikes.

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“Reduced production this summer” refers to that Bay Area refinery that exploded in August. Like how there was reduced production in Hiroshima in 1946.

The spike is dramatic — and unique to California. Here’s what gas prices have done over the last 12 months in Los Angeles (red), Corpus Christi, Texas (green), and nationally (blue).

Sure enough, about a week ago L.A. went crazy. Notice, though, that Corpus Christi generally tracks with national prices pretty closely. In fact, California’s unique gasoline requirements — intended to clean up its famously dirty air — mean that it’s more often subject to unique price changes.

Here’s L.A. (red) compared to generally as-expensive New York (green).

New York tracks with the national average (blue). L.A. jumps around — usually to the detriment of consumers at the pump.

Which is why I propose we move entirely away from using gasoline in any context. I suggest we instead fly everywhere — if they can do something about the meals!

Try the veal.

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