Use your dead pet to power the grid. It’s what Miss Toots would have wanted
How much do you care about finding alternative sources of energy to save the environment? I mean — seriously care? This is a test, so think carefully!
Here we go: Would you toss the corpse of Miss Toots, your darling shih tzu that mind-bogglingly managed to stumble back and forth across your kitchen floor for 23 years, into a massive machine called “The Destructor” so that she could be converted into biomass energy?
If you responded, “no,” you have failed. You hate the environment! If “yes,” you have also failed in another capacity, you heartless beast, but you get a few points for your role in mitigating climate change. Congratulations (you monster)!
Vice reports on a Dutch (of course) innovation that processes animal cadavers into energy. The contraption is appropriately and terrifyingly named “The Destructor,” and it’s operated by Rendac Son, a subsidiary of Texas company Darling Ingredients International (!!).
Rendac’s Tom Doomen explained what the process exactly entails: “The cadavers are grinded, burnt, sterilized and divided. That leaves us with water, animal meal (protein) and fat. We use the fat as fuel for our own machines and we turn the animal meal into biomass energy which we sell to energy companies.”
They generate a whole load of power too: “We annually process 400,000 tons of cadavers, from which we generate enough energy to supply 55,000 households for an entire year. That’s the equivalent of sucking 180,000 tons of carbon dioxide out the sky.”
In other words: Pet cemeteries are the new Hummers, enormous animal corpse processors are the new Teslas! It’s now required by law in The Netherlands to process dead farm animals not used for meat in The Destructor, but house pets are minced up at the discretion of the owner.
If you want to learn more about The Destructor, please refer to this website. However, it’s written in Dutch and includes a graphic video of a horse meeting a rather grisly fate — granted, it’s already dead — so I wouldn’t recommend it.
This has been another episode of “Potentially Environment-Saving Decisions You Never Wanted To Even Imagine, But Goddammit, We’re Making You Do It Anyway” with Grist! You’re welcome.