Affectless hipster invents, what else, an Oreo separating machine
Portland resident David Neevel’s self-description as a “physicist and copywriter” leads one to suspect he has talents in neither field. But one thing is beyond a doubt: The man is capable of building an effective, if perhaps not elegant, Oreo-separating machine to satisfy his passionate “dislike for cream” and “preference for cookies.”
The other thing that’s beyond doubt is that he has a real scene-stealer of mustache. I asked my friend Heather, “What do you call that kind of mustache?” and she said, “A health hazard.”
Neveel is super deadpan and cool and utterly without affect, as you would expect of someone who sits around drinking coffee and wearing overalls in fucking Portland buying a lot of Radio Shack crap to eventually get a small hatchet to turn on a fulcrum. He had to spend time away from his girlfriend and his dog to realize his dream, but in the end, he was victorious. He did it! He got the cream out of the cookie and ate the cookie plain! (Exclamation points mine since this man has never in his life changed his tone of voice.) Anyway. You can almost hear the sound of milk foamers from Northwest to Southeast as the whole city holds its breath to see if Nabisco will sue or sponsor.
- Oreo Separator Machine , Devour