In an ideal world, bikes would never get stolen. In this ideal world, public transit would also run all night. But the world we live in is not an ideal world — sometimes bikes get stolen, and sometimes you find yourself out late, drunk, and without the funds for a cab. But in this imperfect world we live in, there is an ideal resolution to all these issues, hit upon this month by one bike thief.
In short, if you’re the drunk person without funds for a cab, you steal a bike. But then you return it. With this note:
And a coupon for a free Chocolate Lava Crunch Cake from Domino’s. Sure, the bike owner has to buy a pizza — a Domino’s pizza at that — to get it. (Also, the coupon is expired.) But, remember, this is an imperfect world. Cake makes it that much easier to deal with.