LADIES! You know when you’re trying to sip a whiskey sour in peace and some creep won’t stop thumbing through the Pick Up Artist Manual in an attempt to make you feel bad enough to sleep with him? Oh. You don’t? Welcome to garbage year 2014.

Well, this odd promo video for Seattle’s super-green Bullitt Center, starring former Grist staffer Rosalie Miller, may just help bros up their game. Imagine a world where strangers at the bar stop trying to make you hate yourself, and start attempting to appeal to your love of composting toilets!

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Neither will work, of course, but at least the latter shitty behavior is green. And having been approached by an actual pickup artist while drinking with Miller, I can assure you that biomimicry talk would be much more pleasant than vaguely threatening banter and elbow pinches.

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