Here’s one more reason to go vegetarian, fellas:

Just one rasher of bacon a day can damage a man’s fertility … Researchers found that men who regularly ate processed meat had significantly lower amounts of normal sperm, compared with those who limited the amount of foods like bacon, sausages, hamburgers, ham and mince.

On average, those who ate the equivalent of less than a rasher of bacon a day had 30 per cent more normal sperm than those who ate higher quantities of processed meats.

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Yes, all the usual correlation/causation caveats apply here. And, although it’s fun to blame decreasing fertility on bacon qua bacon, it’s really a stand-in here for all unhealthy foods. But this much is clear, according to the scientists: “processed meat intake was associated with lower semen quality.” (I think they frame this in terms of “semen quality” rather than fertility so dudes aren’t tempted to use bacon as a contraceptive. Nobody wants low-quality semen, right?)

So, become the type of person who eats less processed meat, and your semen quality could improve! We’re not saying you need to eat pizza crust made out of cauliflower or anything. You could probably still have bacon if you really wanted to! Just, you know, err on the side of bacon-flecked collard greens instead of bacon-flecked ice cream.

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