Girl, let me see that thong (over your mantelpiece)
A few ideas for things you can do with ugly, unwanted underwear:
- Burn them in a voodoo ceremony to banish the ghosts of your past sex life. For the record, this doesn’t work — no matter what kind of incantation you’re using. Trust.
- Sell them on Craigslist. WHAT!! Cash is cash!
- Turn them into a lovely decorative piece for your parents’ living room.
Sam Saxby, an enterprising, upcycling-minded woman in the U.K., is actively soliciting all of the 5-for-$15 thongs that you’ve accumulated over the course of your post-Bat Mitzvah (hopefully?) life. Let’s be real — no one is buying those at the Goodwill, and you’re frankly kind of rude if you’re donating them. Saxby points out that while some used undergarments are reconstituted into felt, many of them just end up in the landfill.
To cut down on landfill-bound waste, Saxby is stringing these thongs together to make 164 feet of bunting. OK! Because nothing says “welcome to my home” like used panties proudly hung over the mantelpiece. She’s asking for both underwear and a relatively small amount of funds to bankroll the project via Kickstarter.
My only qualm with the whole project is that Saxby refers to thongs as a “’90s fad.” At the risk of oversharing, I refuse to believe that the thong peaked with Sisqo’s infamous ode to it. Have you ever tried to put on a pair of these with some briefs? Please.