Like it or not, your car says something about you. A car with an “I share the road” bumper sticker? Hopefully someone who checks the bike lane before a right turn. A Hummer? Would anyone normal drive a Hummer?!

In that vein, Josh Zisson of the site Bike Safe Boston put together a funny, gif-ified Guide to Vehicular Profiling. “If you know what to look for, you can stay streets ahead of these bozos,” Zisson writes. Here are a few of the telltale cars:

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  • Zipcars. While you’d THINK “sustainability-minded non-driver,” Bike Safe says this translates into “Beware! Hasn’t logged a ton of hours driving alongside cyclists.”
  • Big Cadillacs (bonus: Florida plates). Look out for slow reflexes and bad vision, the guide says. Uh, kinda ageist, Bike Safe!
  • New Hampshire plates. Apparently you don’t have to get car insurance in New Hampy, which seems downright crazy. “Live Free or Die” now sounds like a threat.
  • PT Cruisers. “They’re basically boats, really ugly boats,” snarks Bike Safe. “Anyone who would elect to drive a car like this has no idea what they’re doing.” We have to agree.

Also making the list: taxis, UHauls, anything rusted, and huge pickups with out-of-state plates. OK, your turn, cyclists — what cars do YOU avoid on the road?

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