UGH. It’s soooo cold outside in SOME places right now that I’m scared, y’all. This temporary cold snap means it’ll NEVER be hot anywhere ever again. Plus, it totally invalidates decades of warming temperatures, shrinking ice, and rising sea levels in one fell swoop! What are we gonna dooooo?!? I know, let’s give it a sexy name like “polar vortex” to … distract people or something!

So goes Rush Limbaugh’s opinion of liberals, us crafty devils who are trying to spin subzero temps to fit our wily, thoroughly proven by science wackadoo schemes. (That guy! What a gem, right?) As he said on Monday:

We are having a record-breaking cold snap in many parts of the country. And right on schedule the media have to come up with a way to make it sound like it’s completely unprecedented. Because they’ve got to find a way to attach this to the global warming agenda, and they have. It’s called the “polar vortex.” The dreaded polar vortex.

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Do you know what the polar vortex is? Have you ever heard of it? Well, they just created it for this week …They’re in the middle of a hoax, they’re perpetrating a hoax, but they’re relying on their total dominance of the media to lie to you each and every day about climate change and global warming …

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If you can rewrite the laws of atmospherics to suit your political agenda, I guess science is neat.

Hmm, rewriting scientific fact to fit a certain agenda … where have we heard that before?

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