Toys “R” Us has decided to stop beating around the bush and just flat out tell kids that toy shopping is more fun than learning or nature. (Or, to be generous, flat out acknowledge that kids think this already.) Its new ad features a prank where a busful of elementary schoolers is told they’re going on a field trip to the forest, then diverted to a Toys “R” Us:

Stephen Colbert, of course, has something to say about this. And it’s “yup, trees sure are lame.”

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“Nature is boring. I played in it once. There was nothing to buy. It sucked.”

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You heard it here, kids: Consumerism is great, nature is lousy, who cares about trees, let’s go buy a princess doll.