Dear Mr. DiCaprio,

We heard that you have a fancy eco-resort in the works. And guess what: That means we’re going to be neighbors!

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Belize’s Blackadore Caye could really use some lovin’. One of our seagull friends told us the beaches are eroding (we live in the water — we don’t see the sand that much), trees have been uprooted or cut down, and the waters have been overfished (that one we can confirm). And all of that is a huge bummer, because we hear the island is freakin’ beautiful. So we are super excited that you’re moving in to help restore it!

You’re setting up native tree nurseries and a manatee conservation area, for goodness’ sakes! Not to mention that you already have some neighborly potlucks planned with all the leafy mangroves and seagrass that you’re planting. Screw cookies — those are our favorite treats!

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But we did hear that you’re hoping to host eco-research conferences at your new place, so perhaps you and your nice scientist friends could plan a chat about less carbon-intensive ways to visit us?

In the meantime, we’ll get the welcome mat ready for your next visit. Thanks again for thinking of us!

XOXO,

The Manatees

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PS: We were sorry to hear about your last boating misadventure. Guess it’s a good thing you’re moving to the tropics!