Dear Mr. DiCaprio,

We heard that you have a fancy eco-resort in the works. And guess what: That means we’re going to be neighbors!

Belize’s Blackadore Caye could really use some lovin’. One of our seagull friends told us the beaches are eroding (we live in the water — we don’t see the sand that much), trees have been uprooted or cut down, and the waters have been overfished (that one we can confirm). And all of that is a huge bummer, because we hear the island is freakin’ beautiful. So we are super excited that you’re moving in to help restore it!

You’re setting up native tree nurseries and a manatee conservation area, for goodness’ sakes! Not to mention that you already have some neighborly potlucks planned with all the leafy mangroves and seagrass that you’re planting. Screw cookies — those are our favorite treats!

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But we did hear that you’re hoping to host eco-research conferences at your new place, so perhaps you and your nice scientist friends could plan a chat about less carbon-intensive ways to visit us?

In the meantime, we’ll get the welcome mat ready for your next visit. Thanks again for thinking of us!


The Manatees

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PS: We were sorry to hear about your last boating misadventure. Guess it’s a good thing you’re moving to the tropics!

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