The Dervaes family of Pasadena are urban homesteaders, and by god they want to be the ONLY urban homesteaders. You can grow your own food, or raise your own animals, or practice a sustainable and self-sufficient lifestyle, I GUESS, if that sort of thing butters your muffin. But if you go around using the phrase that rhymes with “shmurban shmomestead” in your book or blog or free event for the public, they will be on you with cease and desist letters faster than a vegan on a rice cake.

The Dervaeses have trademarked the phrase, which has been used since at least the 1980s, and they’ll open a WhupAss™ on anyone who uses it — even at the expense of educating others on how to follow in their sustainable footsteps. Institute for Urban Homesteading, which teaches workshops? BLAMMO, cease and desist. Free educational event at a public library? Cease and desist, mofo. You want a self-sufficient lifestyle, you’ll have to go through these guys.

You’d think the sustainable lifestyle would come with a spirit of generosity and sharing — or that a family that prides itself on self-sufficiency might not get too twitterpated about people somehow leeching their royalties by using their phrase. But jerks abound, and hippie jerks might be the worst. There’s already a Facebook page and a petition trying to get the Dervaeses to stop being such a bunch of urban buttmonkeys. They’re probably due to get nastygrams soon.