Basically all I want to do in my life is lie on a giant dog while snuggling giant dog babies — and if this story is any indication, that may be hardwired in my genes from, like, Australopithecine times. At any rate, this baby chimp seems to have the same instinct.

The little dude, whose name I have not been able to hunt down but I think he should be called Colin, was reportedly abandoned by his mother at a Russian zoo. One of the zookeepers took him home to live with her mastiff and her mastiff puppies, at which point Colin promptly decided he was a dog. As would we all, if given the chance.

Here’s a day in the life of Colin and his adopted family.


Breakfast.


“And then Michaela was like ‘well I like him too,’ and I was like ‘but you don’t LIKE like him,’ and she was like … “


“What’s got no thumbs and is solely responsible for that unholy mess in the kitchen?”


“Your pedi looks great, Mom, really.”


Bed.