Want another reason to hate #RulesForFemales, #CutForBieber, #LessAmbitiousMovies, or whatever bullshit hashtag is trending right now? How about the fact that everything you do on Twitter is responsible for a certain amount of carbon emissions? OK, maybe not very much, but it adds up — and maybe it even adds up enough for you to shame participants into stopping. 

For instance, it’s one thing to say you’re sick to the teeth of hearing about South by Southwest. It’s another thing to point to your #SXSW-obsessed friends and say “look, you assholes just farted out 827 grams of carbon about your dumb conference.”


That’s right — over time, #SXSW tweets have added up to … 0.1 miles of car driving. OK, maybe this is not going to be enough ammunition to make your buddies shut their tweet holes. But think of the data-analysis possibilities! Who tweets more farts: South By or Comic-Con? Bieber fans or Gaga fans? Conservatives or progressives? Feminists or MRAs? Weird Twitter or Normal Twitter? It’s enough to make you want to spend hours searching on new hashtags, an activity that is not without its own carbon footprint. Maybe we need TweetFartsFarts next.