I had intended to write a post this evening on the big first-string GOP debate. I figured I’d have some jokes about Donald “The Donald” Trump’s spray tan of a complexion, a few screenshots of Scott Walker with the Devil in his eyes, and (less likely) some hard-hitting analysis of Jeb Bush’s platform.
Alas, after watching OVER AN HOUR of Fox News earlier today during the second-string debate, I was exhausted, and barely made it through Donald Trump calling Rosie O’Donnell a fat pig (I didn’t hallucinate that, right?) before promptly falling asleep on my laptop and having a lovely dream about Rand Paul being licked to death by a pack of feral Labradoodles. I would feel ashamed for my poor journalistic ethics, but I think my body was shutting down to protect my brain.
Luckily for us, presidential candidate Bernie Sanders did not fall asleep, and even managed to live-tweet what I’m sure was a very entertaining — if terrifying — event. I’ll let Bernie do the reporting for me.
Tonight, follow the debates live with me and use the hashtag #DebateWithBernie to join the conversation. pic.twitter.com/Mh9XrzWeA3
— Bernie Sanders (@BernieSanders) August 7, 2015
Will the GOPers talk about why the U.S. is the only major nation not to guarantee health care to all as a right? #DebateWithBernie
— Bernie Sanders (@BernieSanders) August 7, 2015
Will any Republican talk about the need to raise the current starvation minimum wage of $7.25 an hour? #DebateWithBernie
— Bernie Sanders (@BernieSanders) August 7, 2015
Does any GOPer care about whether or not a woman, rather than the gov't, should make decisions regarding her own body? #DebateWithBernie
— Bernie Sanders (@BernieSanders) August 7, 2015
The clock is ticking. Climate change? Income inequality? Citizens United? Waiting for the questions and the discussion. #DebateWithBernie
— Bernie Sanders (@BernieSanders) August 7, 2015
Fox's great idea. Climate change is the great global environmental crisis, but they want to cut or destroy the EPA. #DebateWithBernie
— Bernie Sanders (@BernieSanders) August 7, 2015
Huckabee and Carson: more tax breaks for billionaires, higher taxes for working families. #DebateWithBernie
— Bernie Sanders (@BernieSanders) August 7, 2015
.@ScottWalker: "repeal Obamacare." Throw millions of more people off of their health insurance. Great idea. #DebateWIthBernie
— Bernie Sanders (@BernieSanders) August 7, 2015
.@Pontifex says climate change is one of the great crises we face. I'm waiting for one word from Fox and the Rs on it. #DebateWithBernie
— Bernie Sanders (@BernieSanders) August 7, 2015
The very rich get richer, everyone else poorer. And Republicans who take campaign money from billionaires have nothing significant to say.
— Bernie Sanders (@BernieSanders) August 7, 2015
It's over. Not one word about economic inequality, climate change, Citizens United or student debt. That's why the Rs are so out of touch.
— Bernie Sanders (@BernieSanders) August 7, 2015
Unfortunately for us all, Bernie got this last one wrong: It’s not over. We’ve still got a loooong way to go before this circus comes to an end.
