I had intended to write a post this evening on the big first-string GOP debate. I figured I’d have some jokes about Donald “The Donald” Trump’s spray tan of a complexion, a few screenshots of Scott Walker with the Devil in his eyes, and (less likely) some hard-hitting analysis of Jeb Bush’s platform.

Alas, after watching OVER AN HOUR of Fox News earlier today during the second-string debate, I was exhausted, and barely made it through Donald Trump calling Rosie O’Donnell a fat pig (I didn’t hallucinate that, right?) before promptly falling asleep on my laptop and having a lovely dream about Rand Paul being licked to death by a pack of feral Labradoodles. I would feel ashamed for my poor journalistic ethics, but I think my body was shutting down to protect my brain.

Luckily for us, presidential candidate Bernie Sanders did not fall asleep, and even managed to live-tweet what I’m sure was a very entertaining — if terrifying — event. I’ll let Bernie do the reporting for me.


Grist thanks its sponsors. Become one.


Reader support helps sustain our work. Donate today to keep our climate news free.


Grist thanks its sponsors. Become one.







Screen Shot 2015-08-06 at 9.04.28 PM


Screen Shot 2015-08-06 at 9.01.04 PM





Unfortunately for us all, Bernie got this last one wrong: It’s not over. We’ve still got a loooong way to go before this circus comes to an end.