1. Tap that ass

    We like Butt Butts and we cannot lie. Awkwardly placed spigot and all.

    Photo: Hemingway Design

  2. Stem well-researched

    Wish your homegrown zucchini was better-endowed? Urine luck! Just be careful not to squat over your alt-pesticide cannibalistic plants. Eat your heart out, Little Shop of Horrors.

    Photo: Ellen Jong

  3. Get your fix

    The female mechanics at a new hybrid-only garage in San Francisco are very picky about whom they allow inside. But if you come, it’s a Luscious experience.

    Photo: iStockphoto

  4. Fashion, victim

    Arctic shmarctic — we must save the turtlenecks!

    Photo: iStockphoto

  5. Inconvenient youth

    Does your kid suffer from hyper-eco-activism? Try this bedtime story, which tells yoots that “while riding a bike saves energy and is a great exercise, it gives you less time to do other things, like sports or homework.” That’ll teach ’em!