It’s a golden era for shut-ins.
Amazon.com is making it even easier to never leave the house. The company is piloting a new program called Amazon Flex, which uses independent contractors instead of UPS drivers to deliver goods to your home in less than an hour — a system modeled on “ridesharing” services like Uber or Lyft.
If you’re a consumer, it won’t look different than what Amazon Prime Now already offers, but instead of a full-time shipping worker passing off your packages, it’s an independent contractor taking out a couple hours of their day to do that.
While the company currently relies on local stores and fulfillment center workers for shipment, Flex marks a different direction for the company as it starts to hand off some of the shipping load to locals who might have a couple hours and a car on hand.
Sure, you may miss those sexy brown shorts, but no more waiting around all day for that Clone-A-Willy Kit or clown vibrator to show up at your door. Hooray! Life is good! Unless, that is, you are a UPS driver, a brick-and-mortar retailer, an Amazon worker, or the planet Earth — which really does not need more vehicles clogging up the road to deliver your shit. But, hey, the walk to the dildo store is exhausting, isn’t it?? Take your shoes off and start clicking.
Amazon Flex will pay $18-25 an hour, and is currently available only in the Seattle area.