If your commute isn’t douchey enough, ditch the bike for a $2,700 electric unicycle
If you constantly have the nagging sense that you have too much money and too many wheels, your problem may be that you commute on a normal-person bike instead of a self-balancing electric unicycle from Hammacher Schlemmer. Luckily, for only $2,700 you can solve all these problems at once!
The electric unicycle has a limited range (it will run for 2.5 hours on a charge), limited speed (13 miles per hour), and requires three hours to charge. But it does have a few advantages over a regular bike: It is suitable for people who are lazy or out of shape (though it does have a 250-pound weight limit), it gives you all kinds of street cred among circus folks and carnies*, and it’s tiny, so you can actually just stick it in the trunk of your luxury car and drive that to work instead.
Anyway, here’s what it looks like to ride it. You’d think that for $2,700 one could buy a little dignity.
* almost certainly the opposite, actually