Italy is a sexy place. So sexy that a male zebra recently leapt over a fence in an animal reserve to romance a female donkey, successfully spawning a beautiful portmanteau: the zonkey. (TRUMPET SOUND!) Ippo the baby zonkey is a healthy li’l critter that’s kind of brownish up top, with stripey legs. As the only zonkey in Italy, she’s bound to be popular at school.


New Press Photo/Splash News

Although hopefully it won’t go to her head — there’s at least one other known zonkey, a three-year-old in Georgia. According to the Chestatee Wildlife Preserve, their zonkey hasn’t faced any ostracism for being different, which gives us yet another way animals are different from humans.

But don’t get too attached to these cute freaks of the animal kingdom. Zonkeys often can’t reproduce, even though they’re healthy:

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“It’s similar to when a female horse and a male donkey mate and give birth to a mule,” said Robert Benson, a veterinarian…Though there are records of mules successfully mating, the majority are sterile.

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But just because animal can’t reproduce doesn’t mean its libido is gone. “The female still cycles and comes into heat,” said Benson. “They can go through the motions and they have the parts. They just don’t reproduce.”

Well, duh. There’d be a whole lot less sex in the world if it were only fun for fertile people. It’s like the old saying goes: Even if you’re barren, hormones be flarin’. Not just the tip after doc goes snip. Shooting blanks means sexy pranks. Rotten eggs? Spread them legs! I COULD GO ALL NIGHT. Just like an Italian zebra.