The presidential race keeps getting weirder.
After GOP favorite Donald Trump went on a radio station dedicated to 24-7 coverage of Sarah Palin (yes, that exists) and said he’d welcome the former Alaska governor in his cabinet, Palin responded by saying she’s up for the challenge. Specifically, she’d like to head the Department of Energy.
“Energy is my baby,” Palin told CNN’s Jake Trapper. “Oil and gas and minerals, those things that God has dumped on this part of the Earth for mankind’s use instead of us relying on unfriendly foreign nations.” You’d think that if this was God’s intention, He’d have made the oil and gas a little easier to extract and a little less damaging to His planet, but Palin obviously knows what she’s talking about. I mean, in addition to being one-term governor of Alaska, she’s a well-known Biblical scholar. Wait, you don’t remember that part of the Bible? “On the first day, God said ‘let there be light, and let it be powered by fossil fuels'”? Pretty sure that’s in there.
Palin’s first act as head of the DOE will be, naturally, shutting it down. “If I were head of [the Department of Energy], I’d get rid of it,” she said. “And I’d let the states start having more control over the lands that are within their boundaries and the people who are affected by the developments within their states. If I were in charge of that, it would be a short-term job, but it would be really great to have someone who knows energy and is pro–responsible development to be in charge.”
Oddly, Palin doesn’t actually seem to know what the DOE does. As Vox’s Brad Plumer points out, the DOE is in charge of nuclear weapons and energy R&D, not drilling:
What Palin wants is the Department of Interior, which oversees the vast majority of federal lands. They’re the ones handling leases for coal mining or fracking on public lands, through the Bureau of Land Management, or supervising offshore oil and gas drilling, through the Bureau of Ocean Energy Management. If you wanted to devolve federal lands back to the states, you’d focus on Interior, not Energy.
Luckily for Americans and every other living being on this planet, there will be no Trump cabinet for Palin to join. I mean, that would be crazy, right? Can you even imagine? President TRUMP? NO. Never gonna happen. Never. Gonna. Happen. Actually, wasn’t this charade of a campaign supposed to be over by now? And why is there a radio station about Sarah Palin in the first place? What is happening? Is Trump going to win? Am I dead? Is this a nightmare? Someone wake me up when it’s over.