Although my job obviously requires me to intermittently make fun of McDonald’s, in my real life I actually try not to be elitist and judgmental about the food people choose to eat. However, I think this may have crossed my line. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU WHY IS YOUR PIZZA CRUST HOT DOGS WHY IS YOUR SANDWICH BREAD FRIED CHICKEN WHY CAN’T YOU BE SATISFIED TO EAT ONE FOOD AT A TIME

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This pizza is for reals, and it’s offered by Pizza Hut in the U.K., a fact that I determined by having to type the phrase “mustard drizzle” into Google, see what I do for you people? So for once, the let’s-double-fist-everything-we-can-reach Frankenjunkfood thing isn’t the fault of Americans. In fact, it’s not even the fault of the Brits: Wiener-stuffed pizza has evidently been available in Thailand and Japan for years.

My one consolation: When this comes to the U.S. (which it will, like a moth to a flame), it’s going to make one hell of a Sandwich Monday.

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(Via @chrismear on Twitter)