The Love Buckle condom belt from OhMiBodRock and unroll.Photo: OhMiBod

It’s almost Valentine’s Day, and you know what that means: time to gird your loins. Here are some wacky prophylactic facts to get you excited (ahem) about condoms, if the whole “prevent kids and the spread of disease” thing isn’t sexy enough for you.

6. Valentine’s Day is also National Condom Day [PDF]. The whole week following V-Day is actually National Condom Week, started by UC-Berkeley students in 1978. And the American Social Health Association deems February National Condom Month! Let’s hope Some E-Cards has something snarky in store for the occasion (like this gem).

5. There is actually a Condom, France. This city in the southwest of France has squirted out The Original Condom, a line of luxury rubbers. Want to trick your sexytime partner into thinking you got ‘em jewelry, only to find a floppy condom inside the black suede box? Get one of these.

4. A condom can hold about a gallon of liquid. Crazy, right?

Garlic condom from The Stinking RoseCover your bulb.Photo: The Stinking Rose3. Condoms aren’t just for your disco stick. Show people you’re packing with the Lovebuckle, a condom belt giving new meaning to “keep it in your pants.” You can show off the brand and even size of condom you have, right above your crotch. The $45 accessory shows a “Reload” message when it’s empty. (Too subtle for you? Try a condom dress on for size.)

2. There’s condom for every taste. Buy a garlic-flavored condom for $1.50 or a whiskey-flavored condom for $4. Rabid Prince William fans can “lie back and think of England” with commemorative William-and-Kate condoms.

1. There’s a TOMS of condoms. Want to slip into something more philanthropic? Buying one of these plaid, vegan hipster condoms means the maker, Sir Richard’s, donates a condom to someone in a developing country.

So this Valentine’s Day, remember to cover your tweedle and save the burying beetle.

h/t BuzzFeed