I'll be bahk, bromeliads.
Global Witness
I’ll be bahk, bromeliads.

Hasta la vista, trees! If you thought it was bad when Arnold Schwarzenegger became governor, just wait til you hear what’s happened now that he’s an honorary U.S. Forest Service ranger. An investigation by Global Witness alleges that his investments have funded illegal rainforest logging, according to the Guardian:

The former governor and climate champion is a part owner of an investment company, Dimensional Fund Advisers, with significant holdings in tropical forestry companies.

A number of those forestry companies were implicated in highly destructive and illegal logging which has destroyed rainforest and critical orangutan habitat in Borneo, and fuelled conflict and arms trafficking in Liberia, the investigators from Global Witness said.

The Terminator had roughly a 5 percent stake in DFA’s investment funds. He’s invested no less than $1 million in the firm, according to disclosure forms the Guardian dug up. (We can think of a better home for your millions, Ahnold! And we promise not to kill any orangutans.) It gets worse:

In the run-up to the Copenhagen climate conference in 2009, [Schwarzenegger] joined regional leaders from Indonesia and Brazil urging Barack Obama and other leaders to help developing countries stop deforestation.

Aw shit. Nothing like some juicy hypocrisy for your Friday! To be truly baffled, watch Global Witness’ bizarre Arnold animation, via Salon: