bat-eating-spiders
Martin Nyffeler and Mirjam Knörnschild

Scientists were aware that spiders ate bats. But they thought it was really rare and maybe the sort of thing that just happened once in a while, like when the bat got tired or sick or otherwise negligent with his own bat life and found himself in a spider web. Well, now scientists have gathered evidence from all sorts of people around the world who give a shit about bats — like bat scientists and people who work at bat hospitals which actually exist — and they discovered 52 instances of spiders eating bats. That’s a lot, considering that’s not all the bat-eating spiders, just the ones who got caught.

They also thought these sorts of shenanigans were only going on in tropical areas, but alas, this is not so. It is going on everywhere. The only continent where bats are safe from spiders is Antarctica, probably because there are no spiders and no bats.

We don’t have to call up the local chapter of Bats Against Being Eaten by Spiders (BABES) to know bats probably don’t find this very reassuring. But at least the bats are not alone — here is a video of a spider eating a snake. Official scientific conclusion: Spiders are fuckin’ scary.