Watch a pine marten turn a soccer game into a Wild Kingdom episode
File under “things that make us think perhaps we will go on to endure yet another day”: A weasel-like animal called a pine marten ran onto a soccer field on Tuesday, during a match between Swiss Super League teams FC Thun and Zurich, and bit the crap out of one of the Zurich players. Maybe it saw a wide expanse of green space and thought “goddamit, monkeys, get your cleats off my habitat.”
The pine marten ran around for a few minutes, looking cute in that way that wild animals are temporarily cute before they go feral on you — which, after being dextrously captured by Zurich defender Loris Benito, this thing did. Watch as Benito successfully fends the wriggling and enraged creature off for a few minutes before it turns around and gives him a nasty bite on the finger.
Well. Nice of Benito to take matters into his own hands so the game could keep going, but Jesus, that had to be a painful and somewhat disgusting experience. Oh, and here is more if you’d like to know what the fuck a pine marten is. I have learned that they are also referred to as the sweet marten, but am fairly sure that Benito would not agree.
Pine marten pitch invasion leaves Swiss footballer with nasty bite - video, Guardian.