This is a bag of rice, as you can see because it is labelled “RICE.” (Photo by Shutterstock.)

Recent revelations that rice produced in some regions of the South have abnormally high levels of arsenic have prompted some congressmembers to spring into action. From the Hill:

Three House Democrats have proposed required federal standards on arsenic levels in rice and rice products after a recent Consumer Reports investigation that found high levels of arsenic in rice cereal. … The Reducing food-based Inorganic and organic Compounds Exposure (RICE) Act would require the Food and Drug Administration to set a maximum allowable level of arsenic in rice. [Rep. Rosa DeLauro (D-Conn.)] and other members noted that currently the only FDA rules on arsenic, a chemical that is poisonous in high doses, are related to bottled water.

Cons:

  • Stop with the acronyms. Seriously.
  • I’m sure that the regulation-friendly House Republicans will rush to pass a bill that would have a negative economic impact on mostly Southern farmers.
  • Too bad the House just ended its session on Friday.

Pros:

  • People would eat garbage — literally garbage from a Dumpster — if it contained enough sugars and saturated fats. So maybe limiting the amount of poison they ingest makes sense.

Except, another Con:

  • People like to ingest poison when they know it’s poison.

So let’s just ban all rice, like we do with drugs. War on Rice. Just say no. We’ll remake this video:

… except the egg will be rice and the frying pan will contain peanut oil and we’ll mix in some vegetables.

I forget what I was talking about.