SurvivaBallHalliburton’s custom-designed SurvivaBall.The world’s most upstanding corporate citizens, like Halliburton, Monsanto, and ExxonMobil, take climate change seriously.  It’s a serious opportunity for profit.  That’s why, in addition to spending millions to perpetuate the energy, environmental, and subsidy policies that sustain their ongoing operations, they’ve created this “gated community for one” — the SurvivaBall.

Specially designed to enable its wearer to withstand months of drought, fierce hurricanes, and catastrophic floods (it floats on water!), the SurvivaBall makes it unnecessary to transition to a low-carbon economy or finance adaptation for the world’s poor.

You can even dance in it!  As for procreation between SurvivaBallists … well, the technology’s not quite there yet.  But failure to enact a strong, effective climate treaty would create the market conditions needed to drive just that sort of innovation.

How can we ensure that SurvivaBall will be the solution the G20 focuses on for climate change?  Encourage world leaders to think only of their nations’ narrow, short-term interests, leave firm commitments on emissions or humanitarian aid unspoken, and continue to support business-as-usual behavior in the energy, manufacturing, and transport sectors.

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