The risk that potatoes might be restricted in school lunches sent Stephen Colbert into a twitching, shouting anxiety spiral. But all is well, Stephen — your tater tots will remain unmolested! The Senate voted down a measure that would have limited starchy vegetables to one cup per student per week. ("Starchy vegetables" includes corn. Just saying.)

Sen. Mark Udall of Colorado did point out that the problem isn't potatoes, or corn or peas or lima beans (also starchy vegetables) — it's the fact that schools prepare all of those by deep-frying them and/or adding butter. Which means the reprieve on Stephen's tots may only be temporary.

Grist thanks its sponsors. Become one.