1. Meat-free market

    Tired of cracks about the size of their sausage, some vegans have decided to have sex only with each other. Vegansexuals “taste a lot better,” says one — and in their world, soys doesn’t matter.

    Photo: iStockphoto

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  2. Ears to you

    Nu metal band Korn have cobbled together plans for a green tour, complete with a nu blend of biofuel they’re calling Korntastic. Sounds kinda korny to us.

    Photo: Theo Wargo / WireImage.com

  3. Scouts’ honors

    Today’s scouts still want to be prepared, just not for the same things their parents faced. Reducing their carbon footprint is a top concern — as is managing money, having safe sex, and building IKEA furniture. What, no patch for mastering Guitar Hero?

    Photo courtesy Girlguiding UK

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  4. Hee hee, you said peepee

    The challenge: run a green gallery for the summer that shows Bay Area residents how to be sustainable at home. The solution: PeePeePonics. Why didn’t wee think of that?

    Photo: iStockphoto

  5. Bill Nye, the competitive guy

    Seems the “Science Guy” is now the competitive guy: Nye has challenged his new neighbor, bike-riding-toaster-powering actor Ed Begley Jr., to an eco-duel, saying he wants to “crush him like a bug.” Someone’s got his bow-tie in a bunch.

    Photo: Jeffrey Mayer / WireImage.com