1. Melts in your mouth, not in your hand

    Thousands of Hindu pilgrims were left less than satisfied at the climax of a long trek when they found that their sacred phallic icicle had melted into a tiny stump. Geologists blame the, ahem, performance issues on global warming and the travelers’ “hot, sweaty bodies.”

    Photo: iStockphoto

  2. One of these things is not like the others

    True or false (no peeking!): Al Gore predicts iPhone will reduce greenhouse-gas emissions by 30 percent. Al Gore III is busted for drug possession after being caught speeding in his Prius. Paris Hilton will run for office as a Green Party candidate.

    Courtesy of Apple

  3. Sweet, sweet Sweden fraud

    If you’re going to try to smuggle liquor somewhere (and you know you are), you might as well pick Sweden; if you get caught, the Swedes will turn your moonshine into fuel. Plus, they’ll probably give you a meatball.

    Photo: iStockphoto

  4. Here’s the scoop

    I scream, you scream, we all scream for carbon-neutral ice cream!

    Photo: iStockphoto

  5. Concerted effort

    Tomorrow, rock out to the 7/7/07 Live Earth Concerts for a Climate in Crisis awareness extravaganza with 24 hours of music from all over the world reaching some 2 billion people via television, webcast, and XM radio. Tune in next week for your regularly scheduled warming.

    Photo: iStockphoto