1. H to the WTF

    Dear Jay-Z, Why you frontin’? We were big pimpin’ your efforts to raise awareness about the world’s water crisis. But we’re not crazy in love with your latest venture. A “Jay-Z Blue” gas-guzzler? Seriously? Excuse me, mister, but we thought your color was green.

    Photo: John Shearer / WireImage.com

  2. The pen is lightier

    Little-known fact: everything published on Grist is written out in longhand first. And boy, does our intern go through a lot of pens. So why didn’t we come up with the $1,000 ballpoint-pen chandelier? Oh right — because puns are about as high of an art form as we reach.

    Photo: En Pieza

  3. Cent’s sensibility

    Hip-hopper, urban-green-space lover, and finger-gun-giver 50 Cent says he hopes to promote safe sex (and population control) by teaching kidz to put jackets on their G-Units. We’re up for branded condoms, but we’re not down with this brand of fur-lanthropy.

    Photo: Johnny Nunez / WireImage.com

  4. Rest in pieces

    A million-dollar stone sculpture constructed to “remind future generations of the Earth’s fragility” collapsed just three months after its unveiling. Officials suspect water damage or glue failure. We suspect God has a healthy sense of irony.

    Image: iStockphoto

  5. If you can’t beat ’em, eat ’em

    Four-and-twenty blackbirds baked in a soup? Uh … sure. Add some bullfrog legs, sprinkle with Burmese python, and finish it off with flavor of giant Gambian pouched rat. Yum.

    Photo: peterme via Flickr