1. I’d put my acorns in those cheeks

    Squirrel sex is hot. So hot, in fact, that Canadian researchers are studying the relationship between global warming and the mating habits of flying squirrels — small rodents that glide from bush to bush. And to think the government’s decision to fund this research was questioned. Nuts, we tell you. Nuts.

    Photo: iStockphoto.

  2. Tax on, tax off

    In a move rumored to be backed by the beleaguered Chinese fork industry, China has announced it will impose a 5 percent tax on disposable chopsticks. Destroying the forests one takeout order at a time, the wooden utensils have long been the bane of environmentalists — and those who, to their enduring hidden shame, never quite got the hang of it.

    Photo: iStockphoto.

  3. Jimi hat

    Feeling icky about your not-so-eco iPod nano (and Shuffle’s embarrassing tendency to favor Kelly Clarkson)? Cover it up with a Jimi iPod nano case, made from recycled and recyclable materials. And wonder loudly why your little sister put “Since U Been Gone” on your playlist.

    Photo: thejimi.com

  4. Get blown

    A Japanese condo complex has installed an “air-shower” system at its main entrance to blast guests with, um, air to remove pollen, dust, and other particulate matter — keeping air pollution outside, in the air, where it belongs. Sounds a little kinky.

    Photo: iStockphoto.

  5. Trunk Tower

    Feeling left out of our Poverty & the Environment series? Fear not: We bring you word of a growing eco-trend that all of us are too poor to participate in: “Green colonialism” — that is, rich white dudes buying rainforests in order to preserve them. Elitist bastards!

    Photo: Clipart.