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Heard the one about the eco-mag looking for jokes?

A couple of weeks ago, we asked you for green knock-knock jokes. We got some creative replies, but we know there are more yuks to be had!

So we proudly present the new, improved Great Green Grist Joke-Off. Anything's fair game now: guys walking into bars (ouch), priests changing light bulbs, organic chickens crossing the road. Or link to stuff you've seen: cartoons, gut-busting clips from the Daily Show, ridiculous headlines from your local paper. You name it, we'll guffaw at it. Or at least cluck our tongues softly and shake our heads in wonder.

So go on ... show us the funny! Because if we can't laugh, we'll cry. And nobody wants to see that again.

 

Tectonics puts things in perspective

One of the reasons it's hard to get people to worry about climate change is that it's often considered a long-term problem. Hell, even I have trouble getting worked up about it some days, and I'm paid to do so.

So I was intrigued by this note from a scientist I'd contacted for a story: "Whereas your group is focusing on short-term trends such as climate change and global warming, we are investigating the long-term effects of plate tectonics ... Whereas climate change happens on a time scale of a few hundred years, the formation and breakup of continents takes millions of years."

See, it's all in how you look at it.

More Alito

Well, there isn't much out there specifically on Alito's environmental record. It's fairly clear where he's coming from, though.

This is a classically Bushian (Roveian?) maneuver. Alito is a big fat red flag on the abortion issue, waved in front of both sides' bulls. You can bet the sturm und drang of the coming weeks will focus almost exclusively on abortion and other social-conservative issues. This is the fight the Angry White Men of Bush's base want, and it's a fight for which abortion-rights defenders are perpetually geared up.

Meanwhile, as Brad Plumer astutely notes, the real story here is that Alito is a favorite of the business community. As with his constitution-in-exile brethren, he can be expected to take every opportunity to limit the ability of Congress to regulate the private sector. No doubt he has deep philosophical justifications for this pattern of rulings, but of course in practice he'll just be another soldier in the corporatist army. The political party he'll be enabling has no interest in small or limited government.

It's possible to imagine Bush nominating a business-friendly judge that isn't hardcore on social-conservative issues -- indeed, it could be argued that both Roberts and Miers fit that bill. But can you imagine Bush nominating someone who's hardcore on social-conservative issues but soft on federalism, the commerce clause, and other biz-related issues? The question answers itself.

Why the Republican base allows itself to be played again and again by an administration whose central and only real allegiance is to corporate cronyism is an enduring mystery. But progressives shouldn't take their eye off the ball.

(It's worth noting that not everyone thinks federal regulation is necessary to protect the environment. Some folks think it does more harm than good. But if you, along with most mainstream greens -- indeed, most of the American public -- believe the excesses of capitalism require some restraint, it's fair to characterize Alito as anti-environmental.)

WSJ ranks island getaways by how they’ll hold during global warming

Power players in the U.S. are finally sitting up and taking note of climate change. But don't get hopeful just yet. They're not leaping to figure out how to retool our industrial system and stave off disaster. Rather, they're calculating which islands will make the best vacation getaways for the rich and famous in a globally warmed world.

Yes, The Wall Street Journal has helpfully published "The Global Climate-Change Island Guide" [subscribers only, alas], informed by the new "Dow Jones Island Index" [PDF; should work even for non-subscribers], which analyzes "12 factors that reflect a range of environmental risks that islands and island tourists face."

Of 40 islands examined, the top ranked for your continued vacation pleasure is Prince Edward Island off Canada's east coast. Of course, the average temperature in December is 24 degrees Fahrenheit, but maybe a little more warming will nudge that number up to a more comfortable range.

Elites will be more happy to see that Martha's Vineyard ranks second on the list. Also scoring reasonably well: the Florida Keys, Grand Cayman Island, and Crete.

Steer clear of Sri Lanka, though, which bottoms out the list. Other islands you might want to avoid: the Dominican Republic, Cuba, and Fiji.

Book those plane tickets and buy those third homes now, folks, before the plebs get ahold of this valuable data!

Thank you Alanis, thank you PBS, thank you …

Looks like Oprah and Leo aren't the only celebs concerned about climate change. This week (Wednesday, Nov. 2, 8-9 PM ET/PT), Alanis Morissette will host and narrate a PBS documentary on global warming:

International recording artist Alanis Morissette hosts and narrates a one-hour PBS network prime time documentary on global warming, people across America facing the possibilities of grave consequences of a changing climate, and the innovative individuals, communities, and scientists creating new approaches to safeguard our children's future. Filmed across the U.S., Asia, and South America, this accessible, empowering program brings the reality of climate change to life and offers viewers ways to make a difference in their own communities. See what's melting, what's rising, what's drying up, and what's drowning ... and how school kids, county sheriffs, architects, and community planners are taking action.

You can watch a two-minute preview of the doc here [20MB MPEG] or a smaller promo [3MB MPEG] at www.alanis.com.

Find out which PBS station is airing this documentary in your area.

Su Thieda, EarthCorps program director, answers questionsSu Thieda, EarthCorps program director, ans

Su Thieda. What work do you do? I am director of programs for EarthCorps. What does your organization do? EarthCorps’ mission is to build global community through local environmental service. EarthCorps restores native habitat while training young leaders and engaging volunteers in hands-on environmental service. On a day-to-day basis, EarthCorps crews can be found in […]

Lather, Prince, Repeat

Prince Charles frets over climate change, promotes organic foods Britain’s Prince Charles is getting dreadfully worried about climate change. In an interview with the BBC last week, he called it the “greatest challenge” to face humanity. And on CBS’s 60 Minutes last night, he said, “You know, if you look at the latest figures on […]

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Gaggin’

China’s economic boom leading to dreadful air quality China’s zooming economy is a wonder of the modern world, but the eco-toll is becoming increasingly severe. Acid rain affects about a third of the country, approximately 70 percent of its lakes and rivers are polluted, and more than 400,000 Chinese a year are estimated to die […]

The Old Munitions and the Sea

U.S. Army dumped heaps of chemical weapons in Davy Jones’ locker Between 1944 and 1970, the U.S. Army secretly dumped about 64 million pounds of chemical warfare agents, plus over 400,000 mustard-gas-filled munitions, off several state shores — and more than that in the waters around 11 other nations. A fair amount of the dumping […]

Submit your thoughts on the latest SCOTUS nominee

Well, Bush has done what he always does when he's in trouble: Made a move designed to be maximally divisive, maximally partisan. The nomination of Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court is a declaration of war, an explicit statement that Bush intends to stand with the Angry White Men of the far right to the very end.

Much has already been said about Alito's retrograde positions on abortion and commerce-clause related matters. I'm reading around for news on his environmental record. But we can probably guess, right?

If you know of environment-related Alito cases, describe them in comments. More later.

Update [2005-10-31 10:55:17 by David Roberts]: Here's some good info from EarthJustice.

Update [2005-10-31 11:8:3 by David Roberts]: Good collection of links on Alito from Scott Lemieux.

Update [2005-10-31 11:28:11 by David Roberts]: As always, tons of great info on Wikipedia and SCOTUSblog.