Remember when the worst offense of a kids’ mascot was a fiendishly catchy tune? Those simple days are over, my friend. Meet Hector the Lump of Coal, the copyrighted spokesrock of Australia’s Dalrymple Bay Coal Terminal (DBCT):

On his weekly TV show, Hector encourages kids to brush their teeth, avoid bullying, and walk instead of driving (at least until we get those coal-powered cars going). “DBCT would likely say Hector is just a part of them being a good corporate community citizen,” DeSmogBlog writes.

But that’s hogwash; the company is obviously trying to put a friendly face to coal, hiding the dirty energy’s ills behind recipes for Chocolate Coal Crackles. Dalrymple Bay is one of the biggest coal ports in the world. According to DeSmogBlog, DBCT exported more than 60 million tons of coal last year.

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But don’t think about that! Focus on this fun Hector mask you can print and cut out. Make sure you and your kids wear it while coal trains go by — it probably won’t keep coal dust out of your lungs, but at least you’ll look cute! GAHHH.

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