Whole Foods has faced a lot of criticism lately, but The Late Show host Stephen Colbert is coming to its rescue. On Monday night, the comedian delivered a series of “pre-apologies” on behalf of Whole Foods, responding to hypothetical scandals the company might face.

“Whole Foods would like to apologize for labeling something organic chicken that was actually stray cats with beaks glued on them,” Colbert said. 

Another highlight: “From now on, our ground chuck will be labeled properly. We’ll include Chuck’s last name so you know exactly who you’re eating.”

These pre-apologies come in the wake of a tough publicity year for Whole Foods. In June, a sting operation found that Whole Foods locations in New York were mislabeling the weight of their products and overcharging consumers. Then, after coming under fire for using cheap inmate labor, the company announced this month that it would stop selling tilapia and goat cheese made by prisoners.

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“Prison labor?” Colbert asked in mock dismay. “But everything at Whole Foods is supposed to be cage-free!”


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