“Technically, I AM a virgin. But my man is sat-is-FRIED.”

Raymondtan85“Technically, I AM a virgin. But my man is sat-is-FRIED.”

Would you pay $1.89 for something called “Satisfries”? These new healthy French fries are the side dish for oxymoron lovers everywhere. Writes Forbes:

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Burger King notes that a value order of Satisfries contains 190 calories and 8 grams of fat — 30% fewer calories and 40% less fat than a similar serving of McDonald’s fries.

Because when you’re drunk/high and have the munchies, fat content is really gonna factor into your decision-making.

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Executives at the Miami-based fast food giant say these Satisfries are less calorific and fatty thanks to a new batter recipe designed to block oil absorption.

Adds Brian Sozzi, CEO of Belus Capital Advisors:

[Burger King is] telling the workout enthusiast, ‘if you’re going to cheat on a Sunday, cheat with us, not the local pizza place.’

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Like your love hot and greasy? Forget Ashley Madison. Indulge in an extramarital affair with a Satisfry.