Whether or not you are going to be digging into a turkey this year — and we have a lot of thoughts on that subject — just take a moment to watch this video. Really watch it. Preferably with our favorite animal-treadmill-soundtrack song playing in the background.
I want you to think about the fact that turkeys — the goofy, pompous, overstuffed birds we usually only think about once a year, and then only with stuffing — are the modern descendants of dinosaurs. OK, so this is a wild turkey — your Butterball probably wouldn’t make it past a wheezing speed walk. But just look at those long, purposeful strides. That streamlined silhouette. That eerily stationary head, beady eye fixed on the prize — wait, who is chasing whom, again?
This turkey-on-a-treadmill video is the work of researchers looking to build better robots, understand human neuromuscular disorders, and design better prosthetics. But never mind the greater good for the moment — did you know that wild turkeys can clock a six-minute mile? I think you have to ask yourself: Could I hypothetically beat this bird in a foot race? If the answer is “no” maybe you need to re-examine your T-Day centerpiece. I hear Field Roast is pretty good.