Wasn’t bacon over like several years ago?! Haven’t we moved on to a new hipster trademark that doesn’t tend to rely on destructive farming practices, like foxes or unicorns? And yet here we are, IN 2013, looking at bacon deodorant:

bacon-deodorant-power-bacon

Power Bacon is the creation of J&D Foods, the Seattle company that makes bacon-flavored salt, lube, condoms, shaving cream, and more. Warns the company about its $10 product:

Using POWER BACON will probably make everyone drawn to you like you were the most powerful magnet on Earth. And by everyone, we mean friends, acquaintances, beautiful strangers, dogs, bears, swamp alligators, lions and even pigs. It’s like an aphrodisiac for your armpits. But use your new power wisely, because with great bacon power comes great baconsibility.

At least it sounds like Power Bacon may be aluminum-free, since it’s a deodorant and not an antiperspirant. Still, we can think of several better — WAY BETTER — deodorant scent options:

  • Kale — because kale is seriously seductive (have you READ this Twitter feed?!)
  • A hog farm (you wanna smell like bacon? Fine, but you have to OWN IT)
  • Your ex who always smelled so great but maybe had some growing up to do
  • Pumpkin lavender (wink)
  • Locally raised free-range small-farm bacon. IF YOU MUST.

Or you can just stick with Lavanila. Because that shit smells awesome.