Can we be entirely real for a moment? The whole idea of celebrating Earth Day is a bit of a cringer. Why is that? Is it because everyone will assume that the offerings at any Earth Day party — invariably well-meaning, to a fault — will include homemade kombucha, three different kinds of hummus, and some kind of earnest salad with beets in it? Very possibly!

There’s also the whole thing about the Earth slowly warming and drowning, which, as has been proven time and time again, no one really wants to think about or talk about. To some of us, Earth Day is basically a bleak reminder of the myriad ways in which we have spectacularly failed to, you know — care for the Earth.

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OK! That feels good! Our real feelings about Earth Day are fully out in the open.

Now, let’s acknowledge another Truth: The easiest way to deal with a problem is to drink about it. With that in mind, we’re here to help you celebrate Earth Day in a way that is actually fun and acknowledges the current state of Earth-affairs, atmospherically speaking: with climate-change cocktails.

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To that end, Zac Overman, bartender at Seattle’s Sitka & Spruce, kindly stepped in to create some top-notch concoctions for us. Watch our video above/below to learn how to make the best cocktails to imbibe while you ponder the demise of the planet invent new, genius forms of alternative energy to save us all. No kombucha, we swear.