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Or are you just soapy to see me?
Man Junk: “A line of organic shampoos for the discriminating scrotum.” Members only, please.
Secure · Tax deductible · Takes 45 SecondsSecure · Tax deductible · Takes 45 Seconds
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Tried to go whole hog, but still have leftovers? Haberdash over to this site to save your bacon. Because “one always looks neat, in a hat made from meat.”

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Hey Ranger, Coming 2 town. Meet 4 drink @ Babar? Got junk n the trunk, IYKWIM. I’ll never forget u. Luv, Elephant.

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Feeling deathly ill? Rest in peace on one of these slightly used sofas. Sure, they were coffins in another life, but now they’re in a better place: your living room!

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You can thank global warming for an abundance of great tits.

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Oil spills are no match for this human-sized Roomba. It’ll zoomba through the gloomba far better than a broomba, saving wildlife from doomba faster than you can say bada-boomba.

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What will be the fallout from Pete Wentz and Co.’s green-themed flight to Antarctica? Tons of carbon, a Guinness record — and, quite possibly, emo copypenguins.

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Overpopulation give you pause? Then give it pause, boys, with a remote control that halts sperm in its tracks. Perfect for dates on fast-forward — though it does involve microchipping your manhood. But did we mention the remote control?

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If we had a band, we would call it Recycled Socktopus. And if we had a recycled socktopus, well, we’d buy one for everyone in the band.
Photo: friendsofsocktopus.com
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Dear ad agencies of the world, why must you portray greenies as prostitute-hiring, adulterous murderers? As you can see from this TV spot, we are actually totally hip. Bright-color-wearing, techno-dancing, jean-ironing hip.
