1. They’ve got the Labatt blues

    Dear Canada, if you care at all about the earth, you’ll get rid of all your beer fridges. And if you care at all about peaceful international relations, you’ll send your surplus booze our way. Love, America.

    Photo: iStockphoto

  2. Razing Arizona

    An Arizona real estate developer can’t fathom raising his kids where they can’t surf, kayak, and scuba dive. So he’s moving to the coast building a 125-acre water park in the middle of the desert. Cowabunga, dud.

    Photo: iStockphoto

  3. No child left sober

    Johnnie Walker, Cutty Sark, The Glenlivet … they’re as good as woolen mittens when it comes to warming a chill. Wait, did we say “chill”? We meant child.

    Photo: iStockphoto

  4. Bum deal

    Question: If biodiesel smells like french fries, what exactly does dirty-diaper diesel smell like?

  5. As the Crow tries

    All we wanna do is find an eco-song that doesn’t suck. Is Sheryl Crow’s new single strong enough, or will it be our favorite mistake? If it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad.

    Photo: Vera Anderson / WireImage