It’s, like, so totally uncool that Russian punksters Pussy Riot are in jail for singing a song that suggested that their president, scary asshole Vladimir Putin, is a scary asshole. And if this uncoolness were a vegan terrine, actress/vegan activist Alicia Silverstone would like to point out that the thickest layer, the layer that’s maybe composed of one of those cheeses made out of nut milk, is the part where Pussy Riot’s vegan member is not getting vegan cuisine in jail

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Here is a sample of the letter Ms. Silverstone — whose idea of humane culinary habits is feeding her kid out of her own mouth, after first naming that kid Bear Blu mind you — wrote to the definitely corrupt, arguably evil, possibly homicidal world leader:

Regardless of the trial and its outcome, I’m sure you can agree that everyone has the right to show compassion and refrain from harming animals by being vegan.

Grist thanks its sponsors. Become one.

Oh yeah, sure, because a guy who (allegedly) has journalists killed totally lies awake at night feeling bad about PIGS.

Silverstone goes on to demand Putin’s “assurance that Ms. Alekhina will have access to vegan foods.” We don’t know how to say “good fucking luck with that you delusional hippie freak” in Russian, but that’s kind of what we think he might write back. If he gave a shit. Which, well.