This column has been hibernating for a couple of weeks — did you miss us? Don’t answer that. But we’re bringing it back because it’s been a helluva week for reproductive rights news. There were important developments (or, should we say, devolutions) in access to reproductive healthcare every day this week — and since some of it is pretty hard to swallow, we’ve paired each item with a shot you might want to take with it.
Monday: A lemondrop
We were all waiting around for a Supreme Court ruling on Zubik v. Burwell, the case examining whether religious nonprofits are morally burdened by requesting exemption from birth control coverage for their employees under the ACA — and boy did we get one! Just kidding: SCOTUS decided, on Monday, to send the case back to the lower courts and essentially say, “Figure out how to deal with this — we can’t right now.”
Tuesday: The remaining 1/4 bottle of Jäger leftover from your roommate’s Dirty 30 rager
On Tuesday, South Carolina lawmakers passed a bill banning abortion after 19 weeks. Gov. Nikki Haley has expressed support of the bill and her signature is all but guaranteed. If that happens, it means a third of the states will have passed late-term abortion bans.
Wednesday: Peach schnapps and a tablespoon of 7/11 gasoline
Wednesday, objectively the worst day of the week, happens to be our Trump Day, so let’s just hold our breath and get it over with. In the New York Times Magazine’s profile of the collective national nightmare we brought on ourselves by eating an entire Doritos Crunchy Crust Pizza too close to bedtime, Trump clarified his position on punishment for abortions:
Cool! Trump also announced his short list of Supreme Court Justice nominees, which includes some vocally anti-choice candidates. Among them are Raymond Gruedner, a judge on the Court of Appeals for the Eighth Circuit, who we can thank for the South Dakota law requiring doctors to inform women seeking abortions that the procedure “terminate[s] the life of a whole, separate, unique living human being.” And William H. Pryor Jr., a judge on the 11th Circuit, has openly condemned Roe v. Wade.
Thursday: Whatever quantity of plastic-bottle whiskey you deem necessary in light of the following
Then, in Oklahoma, the state legislature passed a bill that would make performing an abortion a felony — a law that has been deemed, according to NPR, “insane” by the sole doctor in the Senate, Sen. Ervin Yen (R). Under its terms, any doctor who performs an abortion could be punished with up to three years in prison and lose his/her license to practice medicine in the state. Pro-choice groups have pointed out that this clearly unconstitutional, in violation of Roe v. Wade.
Friday: A party. You just need a massive party.
UPDATED: On Friday, Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin (R) vetoed the abortion-criminalizing bill passed by the state legislature on Thursday.
Time to rage: