Now do 50 pushups.

Cindy SchultzNow do 50 pushups.

Update: KSB told us that although they created 3D simulations for SeaWorld, “SeaWorld has not built the treadmill and isn’t planning on doing so.”

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Poor SeaWorld. Its biggest killer whale killed three people, and that became the subject of a documentary, as if animal rights activists weren’t unhappy enough already. To stir up some good press, someone decided the whale version of a hamster wheel might be a good idea. According to theme park site Mice Chat:

SeaWorld has been working with KSB Pumps, which normally builds attractions for Surf Parks, to potentially construct what they are calling a Killer Whale Treadmill. Feasibility studies and 3D modeling were conducted for a device which would create water flow speeds up to 30 miles per hour, essentially simulating the sensation of endless swimming.

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Two reactions: “This is bullshit” and “Hey, that’s kind of a nice way to give whales more exercise.” The blog Earth in Transition quotes David Kirby to explain why you might feel conflicted, if you care about whales:

If [anti-captivity activists] applaud SeaWorld for giving its whales more opportunity to exercise and swim for “miles” a day, they are tacitly implying that captivity just needs to be made better, and then it will be acceptable … On the other hand, if they condemn the “whale treadmill” outright, they will be accused by SeaWorld and its supporters of displaying callous indifference toward improving their lives.

It’s a complicated issue. The image of a killer whale languishing listlessly in a too-small tank (as Earth in Transition describes) is heartbreaking. But making SeaWorld disappear somehow — and preventing a replacement or five from popping up — seems like a pipe dream. Killer whale exercise machines might be a step in the right direction — or at least a step to stay in the exact same place but be a little healthier, which is really what treadmills are for.

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