Top 10 prices we want Newt to lower with his magic wand
Newt Gingrich promises he’ll lower gas prices to $2.50 a gallon once he gets to the White House. Now that we know he’s in possession of a magic wand that can override global market forces, there are a few other items we’d like to see priced lower.
If it were actually affordable, we could all agree to put a stake through the heart of ObamaCare, without leaving poor people defenseless against debilitating health costs. Because you don’t want poor people to be defenseless against debilitating health costs, do you, Newt?
Oh. Well, it would be cool to lower the cost of health care anyway.
This would be a great way for Newt to differentiate himself from the snob-hating Santorum.
There’s been a run on it lately, thanks to the recent discovery of a novel off-label use, so it would be good to make sure the price stays low.
They bring people together!
What better device on which to watch a half-hour infomercial of Newt sitting in a chair selling his energy policy? Also, according to Rick Santorum, iPads somehow obviate the need for health insurance.
Watch Ron Paul’s mind explode! And, as a bonus, bring down the price of Tiffany’s jewelry.
What prices would you like Newt to lower? Please share in comments below.