Uh...time for a study break?
Robert Schrader
Uh … time for a study break?

You want them. I want them. The Earth definitely wants them (or wants you to have them, anyway). University of Michigan students want them. I’m talking, of course, about prophylactics. And now they’re as easy to get as a bag of chips:

Incoming University of Michigan dormitory residents will find condoms in vending machines alongside snacks and soft drinks …

University spokesman Peter Logan says students asked housing staff in 2012 to install free condom dispensers in dorm bathrooms.

Logan says housing officials didn’t buy that idea but instead opted to add condoms to the vending machine wares. They sell for $1.

And should students get busted for underage drinking, selling Ritalin, or any of the other vices of college life, they can even get rubbers behind bars. At least if they do time in California or Vermont:

The California Senate approved a plan Monday that would require the state to hand out condoms at adult prisons, despite a ban on having sex behind bars …

If the bill becomes law, California would join Vermont, with a much smaller inmate population, in providing condoms to all prisoners. Canada, most of the European Union, Australia, Brazil, Indonesia and South Africa already take that step, according to legislative researchers.

One thing to watch out for: Condom vending machines are in high demand. Is it because their contents can simultaneously combat overpopulation, stop the spread of disease, and make amazing balloon animals? I don’t know, but 16 of them were recently stolen in Nagpur, India. Sounds like Carmen Sandiego is all grown up.