Were you curious about where Our Lord and Savior scrubs his man-nipples? It’s in “God’s bathtub,” naturally, which is what scientists are calling this Australian lake, because it has been untouched by climate change for 7,000 YEARS.

He wants His loofah back.
Archmage01
He wants His loofah back.

Researchers at the University of Adelaide were “accidentally” studying God’s toilet paper caddy nearby land when they decided to test the lake’s algae for funsies. The “absolutely beautiful” lake — Blue Lake on North Stradbroke Island — has been spared the uglier effects of climate change, so the natural conclusion is that an unproven deity has been preserving it for His or Her personal bathing, complete with aromatherapy candles (a gift from Mary Mag) and bath salts (JUDAS!).

The lake is fed by an aquifer (God’s faucet) and seeps into a swamp (God’s drain). According to Cameron Barr, a researcher at the university:

To our knowledge, this is the only lake like this in Australia that has shown such stability over such a long period of time. We expected some change, given the magnitude of environmental changes over that period, so it was a surprise to find almost none.

We looked at lots of different proxies of environmental change, such as fossil pollen. But we also looked at fossil algae, these things called diatoms. Diatoms are very, very susceptible to changes in water chemistry. What we’ve found by looking at these diatoms, how they changed over time, is that there was very little change in the chemistry of the lake over the last 7,500 years.

So to our knowledge, this is the only lake like this in Australia that has shown such stability over such a long period of time.

Can I get an amen?